Little Miss Angeldoll’s Blog

hahaha… at jir’s palce slacking now!! waiting for joel to reach orchard.. supposed to meet him for dinner but ate a little le.. wahaha.. so horrible.. hmmm…

he was supposed to book out at 2, 3+.. but his superior asked him to dunno do wat stuff.. oh well.. its alright arh.. very soon cannot see him le.. major sad case.. cos he will kenna confined. hmmm….

last nite we chatted on the phone till 5am.. cos he bu she de fang dian hua.. actually, me too. =) hahaha.. then nick was there telling me tt he’s really very flirt.. seriously, i feel that way too.. but then again, he’s sincere too yeah? haha..

last nite, after meeting zihui for pool, after picking his parents up, he took a bus to yishun to find me.. juz cos he wun be seeing me for the next 3 weeks.. is tt sweet or wat? =) was with him for about an hour and a half, walking ard yishun park, sitting on swings.. and i realise that, yeah.. i will miss him when he is in.. urghhh..

when it was time for him to leave, he held my hand and din wan to leave.. awww.. and he kept telling me tt he bu she de.. even on the cab, he kept looking back.. he told me later that he was chatting with the taxi driver thruout the whole journey to the ferry terminal..

from my memory, it went smt like this.. he told the driver tt he wanted to go to the terminal and he driver asked him "dang bing ah" then he say yeah.. and the driver said tt he saw us holding hands outside and asked him "bu she de issit" then he said yeahh.. cos once he is in, cannnot see each other for 5 days le.. of cos will bu she de arh.. then the driver told him that i look very si wen.. then say i got the guai nu er de yang zi.. then say that he very si wen also.. then both of us very jue pei.. haha.. i was trying not to laugh lor..  then he continued saying that this type of girls muz faster qu guo men.. (i was positively laughing my head off by this time) then he replied that bu shi ta bu yao.. but mei qian jie hun.. the taxi driver told him no need alot of money or smt arh.. then he said tt he nv sign on.. then no money to get married.. yada yada yada…

hahahhaha… then he told me that he was smiling thruout the whole ride to the terminal.. hahaha.. well… i’m juz very very amused..

ter wanted to pick me up at the mrt station.. then i told him tt i’m going with joel. told him tt he’s meeting me at 6.30.. and we most probally reach an hour later.. cos i’m pretty sure tt he wun know the way.. haha.. and ter said tt he thinks we would reach at 10pm.. thanks eh ter…

i was late!! cos chatting on the phone with ter and waiting for my nails to dry ma.. and i made poor poor joel wait downstairs for 20mins.. urghh… and oh.. he opened the door for me again.. as in he purposely walked over and opened it.. =) so sweet lor!

and i was rite! we dunno the way there and i told him tt ter say tt we would reach at 10.. then he was there saying… wahh~~ terence kan bu qi wo.. and oh.. he signed on ter’s card well.. =) we did find our way there afterall.. and reached at 7.30, with some assistance fm wil arh.. hahaha.. when we reached, alot of pple where there le.. he help me gave ter his gift.. cos it’s heavy rem?

i guess i must have made him very bored.. cos i was very excited getting the card filled and updating bee about things that i did not talk to him. moreover, alot of pple were there.. and it would look very weird if i talked to him.. in fact.. i think alot of pple found it weird that me and joel came together.

i din eat.. too busy talking… then i noticed that joel was missing.. went down to find him and saw tt he was on the phone. ok then…. so i came up.. think he saw me.. cos saw tt he was walking towards me.. i hid from him though… there’s a reason why he chose to go down all the way to pick up that call. he came up.. a long time later.. i noticed that he was kinda bored… and was alone by himself most of the time.. but i cant walk over and chat.. haiz..

was much later when i saw him sitting by the stairs that i stood behind him and juz looked on.. ter saw me and asked me down.. then he realised tt i was looking at joel and asked wat happened… i chose not to go and instead, took joel a drink.. i asked him if he wanted to be alone.. cos if he did, i could leave.. he said he din want too.. we went down for a walk though… and oh.. saw thomas - eileen’s bf and while waiting, he was on the phone again… and they were probing about my r/s with joel..so i told them that we are frens still..

we walked back to ter’s place.. w/o bert and hs juz in time to see ter cut his cake.. but when i turned, joel wasn;t there anymore.. dunno where he go.. muz be on the phone again.. *shrugs*

we left pretty early.. simply b’cos everybody was leaving le.. so me and him went to changi airport.. it was an extremely long drive and it was made worse when his gf called. and i know it’s her cos he set it as caller id. made me feel very concious of the fact tt he’s attached and that it’s wrong of me going out with him.. haiz.. so i kinda din talk to him thru the rest of the drive there. neither did he spoke to me.

dinner was a quiet affair too.. song called but i ignored. finally picked up his call and got quite pissed as he has this habit of going hello.. hello.. hello.. even when i can hear him perfectly well and vice verse. so i lied saying tt i’m still at ter’s place.. then he asked me to give him a call 3hours b4 i wanted to leave so tt he would come pick me up.. told him tt i will be staying overnite there. *shrugs* and i was lying outright infront of him lor.. but if he felt anything, he din show it on his face.. and then his phone rang. he offed the melody, but can see the light flicker. and i dun have to be a genius to know who called. he excused himself and went out to take the call.. it was so totally urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… gives new meaning to du lan.. i mean… yesh i know tt this is wat i have to live with.. but still…. urghhhhhhhhhhhhh..

he came back after a long time. i din spoke to him. dun even know wat to say. then i realised that i shouldn;t take my frustrations on him. cos he’s not at fault. so i grit my teeth and smiled and smiled. i din wan to make him any more unhappier. i rather feel urghhh… than to make him know of my frustrations and thus be even more unhappier.. oh well.. if someone has to have a sacrifice, let it be me..

but he was cool… think he also putting on a brave front.. he asked if i wanted to see planes and brought me to this place which was juz next to the runway and parked there despite the no parking sign.. haha.. and we saw the northen star. and the moon. and loads of planes taking off and landing. it was pretty cool.. then he showed me where the saf ferry terminal is. then he purposely detoured past his estate to show me where he lives. i was like… ah? but go see where he lives lor.. hahaha =)

from his place to mine was a very long drive.. about 30mins.. poor soul.. everytime muz drive so far to find me.. kk.. next time cannot trouble him le..! oh.. when we were back in yishun, we looked at stars somemore and well… i din feel like going home.. somehow.. i juz like spending time with him.. and i wodner if he felt the same way too.. i finally went home about 10mins to 5 and quickly climbed into bed..

fell asleep b4 he got home and the next morning when i woke up, he flooded my phone with msgs.. one more anxious than the previous one. it seems that he tot i find him annoying, thats why i wasnt replying his messages.. then he apologised profusly that he worry too much.. but it was only b’cos he cannot bear to lose me..

*smiles*

i wonder if she would see this.. i seriously hope she would.. cos.. there’s alot of thnigs i would like to tell her, to let her know.. i know tt she’s worried about me.. and that she disapproves of me hanging ard guys.. i’m not trying to be defiant.. i love my family very much too.. and she and mummy means alot to me as well..

i dun like the way our r/s is going.. we are kinda drifting apart.. and i dun like the feeling.. tot tt sisters are suppsoed to be like close close.. then go shopping together, share clothes and accessories tog and such.. somehow.. we arent like tt.. i would really like to know her better, try to share her problems.. and of cos.. not make her worry..

sis, sorry for making u and mummy worry all these while… give me time to grow up yeah.. =)

ok.. fri was pretty shitty.. like really shitty.. and i know tt the pple who made it shitty would most probally be reading this some time or another.. but well.. this is wat i really feel huh…

ok.. work was okok.. leonard drove today.. so we went out for lunch to serangoon gardens.. took a one and a half hour lunch.. haha.. then after tt he got a summon!! gosh.. hahaa see la.. dun listen to tommy lor… hahaa… then.. when w go back to office., they say see who will sleep first.. then the 4 other cameras will go take pic of the sleeping person.. liews.. so scary!! i fell asleep lor.. but when i look next to me, i saw tt cx was fast asleep along time ago.. hahaa… *phew*

then.. ter msged me!! and asked me to ask joel along for his birthday tml.. so exciting!! hahaa then i couldn;t help smiling.. then cx came and slaped me.. he din use alot of force but it wasnt exactly gentle arh.. got tt stingy feeling… urghhh…

then he go show the rest a pic of us in year 1.. then leonard and tommy started saying tt i look extremely fat.. like ba zhang.. do i really? i kinda feel i am so much fatter now lor.. then they started singing the ba zhang song.. -.-" then they say ohhh no wonder u everytime nv eat lunch arh…. urghhhh…

and then while we were chatting, they say they would help me record the voicemail msg during lunch.. which they found loads of excuses to decline.. okay.. nvm! i juz dun like people who promise and not deliver..but ok la.. small case.. no point making a biggy issue out of it… still, i din talk to either one of the 3 guys for the rest of the day.

then met sarah after work.. she was late lor!! by more than 1 hour.. -.-" cos she forgot maio’s present… ok la… i went shopping.. the sale has started!! boguht clothes.. then spend a long time chosing ter’s card. sarah only came at 7.10.. super long… then we walked to heeren together to get ter’s present.. joel called.. to ask if i wanted him to come pick me up.. but i say nah.. it’s so extremely silly for him to come all the way down fm bedok to bishan juz to send me home when i could juz easily take the train..

dinner with them was kinda different.. cos, amy brought a fren.. and the ger is so irritating!!! lets see wat i hate about the ger arh..

1)she looks ugly!! makeup so thick like ghost.. blusher use like free

2)her dressing is so obviously trying to copy amy. pls la.. go bang ur head.

3)she is fm np mass comm

4)she got spots on her body

5)she was trying to fit into our clique

6)she was sitting very close to me

7)she was trying to be involved in out conversations

blah… i really hate it.. so much so that i was quiet throughout dinner.. din talk to anyone of them.. din have appetite to eat either. then amy asked me wats wrong.. then sarah asked me about joel.. it seems tt she rem him fm the bbq.. so i was telling them tt we are gd frens and well.. so expectantly they asked if we are going to be together.. and i say i dun think so.. then miao asked why i like to be the 3rd party so much. well… its not by choice lets juz say.. but i got kinda disturbed by her comments and chose not to speak to her for the rest of dinner… also, she said tt amy change bfs like changing clothes like tt.. and ask her if her bf is still the same one or she changed again. dunno arh.. since when did my maio became so tactless?

and so yeahh.. i got bored.. and wanted to leave.. joel came afterall.. and he asked if we could go meet jervis.. okok lor.. so we went to pool junction, where i did nothing. i dunno how to play pool, i dunno anyone there.. so i juz sat there and yeahh.. did nothing. was still feeling lousy la.. went out to make a call to bee to ask her abut her plans tml.. then kenn called.. so i was chatting with him while walking ard the building.. then joel came out to find me.. but i asked him to go back in.. well.. i would be protrayed as a wet blanket if i stopped joel fm playing rite… anyways.. i was out not b’cos i was bored arh… it was cos i’m on the phone.. ah ha!!.. hahaha when he went in, he came out again.. and said tt his frens were leaving.. and tt when he went in, they aked him to go out and find me.. felt so horrible..

and so… he asked if i wanted to go catch a movie.. told him tt this is fri, confim cant get tix.. then he asked if i wanted to try.. so we went to cine.. seems like he has a preference for cine huh.. he wanted to catch a movie.. i could tell… so.. watch lor.. though i really din have to mood to watch.. we were deciding b/w madagascar and monster in law.. and got madagascar cos monster in law was pretty full.. anc we went to the arcade.. he’s accuracy is really quite good.. haha!! excellent at those shooting games! then played puzzle bubble.. urghhh.. lost to him lor!! tt cheater!! blah blah blah..

then we went for the show.. its really really funny arh.. i recommend it!! it’s those no brainer juz laugh ur heart out shows…and yeahh… i did feel better after the show.. but something happened yeah.. when we were buying the tix, there was an option for couple seats.. and he took it.. i mean he did ask me if we could take the couple seats and i told him up to u.. and i looked away..but i noticed tt he took the couple seats lor.. haha and oh.. its like the ps ones.. but we each took one corner arh… then i prob my legs up on the chair infornt.. cos nobdy’s sitting there.. after a long time into the movie, i felt his fingers brushed against mine.. so i moved my hand away.. tot it was an accident.. then it came again.. i was like… *froze* and became very very concious and it was like everything juz stopped… like i stopped brething.. my heart stop beating.. my blood circulation failed me.. like i forgot how it feels like to hold someone else’s hand le.. but its ok.. i snapped out of it after a while..

movie ended at ard 4.. and we went home.. sat in the car chatting.. till mummy msged.. and then i realised i forgot to call back and inform anybody… oops…. haiz… and yeahh she’s pissed with me.. everybody is again.. =(

yup yup.. met darling jody for dinner.. he looks so different lor!!! look so much si wen.. he’s no longer then ah beng jody from montfort!! haha.. i finally gave him his present le… any longer i think it will sprout mushrooms arh..

we had dinner at wakaru or watever the name of the jap rest is arh.. was very cool.. cos the setting is all jap… still have the tatami mats and all.. but the food variety is pretty limited.. food quality is still okok.. but their salmon sashimi is super SUPER fresh!! then again… it cost $10 for like 5 pieces.. so yeahh… we ordered loads more in fact… main courses, gyonza, takoyaki, soft shell crab.. and i realise smt.. the twin doesn;t like mushroom… HOW CAN!?!?!! so i purposely ate in front of him! and he rolled his eyes at me.. *bish*

anyways, he was the one ordering and making choices.. hmmm…. =) i like it when guys make decisions… or maybe cos jody darling juz have the same initative as moi!! whahahaha… after dinner, (which he asked me not to finish my food cos he said tt i was struggling with it..) we went walk walk.. and i think he wanted to go watch movie.. but i promise mother tt i would be back early arh… so cannot… so we had coffee at paragon while i updated on the current situation.. and he began looking and reading and replying my smses… and he told me wats going on in brunei.. if joel’s camp is tekong is like a chalet, jody’s camp is like a country club lor.. hahaha

and yeah.. he kinda gave me some very gd advices.. bu kui shi wo de twin!! and yeahh.. when we wanted to leave, we walked past mont blanc, and i promise him tt i would buy one for him for his 40th birthday… hahaha how i wish i can take back my words arh!!!

he’s leaving for brunei next thurs again le…. all the best twinie!!

hahaa… got it on wednesday… all thanks to my beloved cousin jireh.. -.-" all i metnioned was tt i tot of getting one and he happpily dragged me into the shop, made decisions for me and *piang* it’s sitting happily on my left ear lobe le.. and yeahh.. it hurts like shit… feels something like someone is trying to staple ur ear… and the equipment they use is wah piang… see liao will scared arh..

it was still ok when he pierce it.. it’s the after effect that hurts.. has a stingy feeling and ur ear becomes very hot and the stingy feeling wun leave.. so, i was wailing in the shop.. well.. =)

and then we saw felicia.. and got her contacts.. whaha.. i made my cousin a happy guy tt day. and in return he gave me pain.. so not worth lor.. but now tt it’s no longer hurting.. it’s cool! and yeahh.. i love my piercing.. jir said tt the next one will be on the nose.. *OH NO!!* haha oh yeahh.. once it was in, i called joel and told him about it.. and he was like.. "are u ok?? are u really ok???" hee hee.. and when i told him tt jir wans to give me a nose one he was like "don’t! ear enough!!" hahahahaha…. =)

ok.. lets see.. the last time i updated this this was when joel wasn’t talking to me yeah.. since then.. hmm.. quite a bit of things happened..

we spoke on the phone on monday nite.. which ended up werid cos i almost spoke of his gf. so i found some excuse to hung up the phone.. and stayed awake the whole night thinking about the past in sch… oh well..

din really have a good rest on tues either.. but at least me and him were back on speaking terms… i kinda ignored his msges the whole of today.. not for some kind of revenge though.. its juz… i suddenly became very very concious of the fact that he has a gf… and yeahh.. trying to do the right thing.. and that was the only day when i was so much more willing to msg kenn than him.. he eventually msg me smt like sry.. guess u dun wanna talk to me anymore.. smt along those lines… which is totally so not true.. so leonard was trying to help me salvage the situation.. reminds me of how kenn used to help me salvage the situation with joel too… funny how things always turn out to be.. and out of the blue, he msged me "give me some time can?" which was so totally deja vu.. that was wat bernard used to tell me very often…. i wonder.. oh well.. but in the end, everything is cool..

You’re due for a major change with regard to a current relationship. You’re ready, willing, able and oh so game to give it a big assist, no matter what it takes. Luckily, they are, too. Well, that’s that. Get busy.

Just this once, you’re feeling a bit on the fickle side. Fortunately, your faithful nature will keep you on the straight and narrow, no matter what it is you’re trying to resist.

haiz……. i’m going to be flicker?

now.. joel’s not speaking to me…haiz.. and i feel lousy!!!!!!!!!!! and cx says it’s a "pot calling the kettle black" situation.. haiz… haiz.. haiz….

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

(It’s all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It’s all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It’s all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It’s all coming back to me now)
And if we..

–celine dion