Little Miss Angeldoll’s Blog

i juz wanna tell u……………….

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

that i love you.

been wanting to post this up for quite some time… juz din have the time.. jem, be proud!!

=)

yest on my way to work, i called him and he was laughing and smiling.. so i asked him wat he was smiling about.. and he told me that he was thinking of how his brother-in-law was calling his daddy, daddy and thought of the day when i have to call his parents daddy and mummy. and i was like *grin*

then he was saying that we can get engaged in 3-4 years and i was *stunned* cos he said since i was planning to get married when i’m 26-27.. and we kinda need 1,2 years to do the preparations.. i told him that i think the probability of this happening is really 0.000002%. and asked him, seriously, what percentile did he think of it happening. and he said "i hope it will be 100% but i know it’s not possible. so maybe 80+%" and he asked me for a serious ans. i told him 65%. so the avg of both our ans is a 77.25%. and yeahh…

so pple reading this, there’s a 77.25% chance of u getting invited to our wedding.

wat a far fetched idea.

then he was telling me the stuff that we have to do.. like photo taking, getting the gowns, booking the restaurants, yada yada.. and i was totally clueless. well… i’ve nv been involved in a wedding b4 ma.. maybe bee’s wedding arh!! then i can be involved in the planning.. *hint hint*

lalala… so yeahh… =) yest after dinner with mummy too.. we saw this couple.. then she tot it was sis and her bf. then she asked me if sis has a bf. and i asked her to ask sis herself. then she looked at me and asked me if i wanted ehr to ask me if i have a bf. and i was like…. ummmmmm…. the bus is here!! lets board it!! then she was smiling adn kept turning and asking me…

i told him about it and he asked me why i din wanna tell mummy about us. i guess its maybe cos its still too early arh.. but somehow, i have this feeling tt mummy might juz know about it already.. maybe she saw our pic. then she was telling me that she dun wan a muslim for a son-in-law. so i told her i will get an indian bf instead!! haha joel was laughing his head off.. haha

then he asked me to tell her to rest assure.. cos he’s chinese! goodness.. hahaha!! he asked me to wish mummy happy birthday and i told mummy that my fren wished her happy birthday. she asked me what kind of fren. i told her boyfriend. then she asked me wat race and religion. hahaha… so funny lor!

then juz now at breakfast too.. she told me that if wanna go pat tor, he muz bring shark’s fin and bird nest first b4 can go out. it was super hilarious!! and my motehr wan 20 tables for the wedding lor. and i was asking her.. who she wanna invite!! hahaha… we dun have that much pple to invite and she was saying that she can sit at the different tables. so bo liao lor!! hahaha… then say she got ee nana, ee gaga, dua ee to ask.. so wat? 1 person sit one table arh?!?! hahaha…

so, someone is in deep shit. hahaha someone better go think of ways to get his hand on shark’s fin if not he can forget about asking me out le. hahaha… 77.25%

**after thought**

almost forgot that we were also thinking, wishing, dreaming, hoping, praying on how nice it would be if we were really together. then he would wake up in the morning and make breakfast.. then he will juz come home from work then dinner will be ready. then i told him that when he comes home from work, a hot bath will be ready and he can read the paper and sayang the dog while dinner gets ready.. and early every morning, i would have already picked out clothes for him to wear and his shirts would all be crease free cos that’s how i like shirts to be. and he said that we can go shopping together.

and we will live happily ever after.

amen.

he msged me to ask me to wait for him at home.. i din care… juz left home.. cos i guess a part of me was still feeling that he din really cared for me no more after sat nite. who ask him dun wanna talk to me. he met me at north pt though.. bought breakfast for me. and even in the car, he din even look at me and yest he was complaining that i wouldn’t hold his hand last night. well….

so juz now, i went to hold his hand. it wasn’t out of anything. i juz felt like holding him. cos.. it’s really silly to bear a grudge with him.. considering that i only see him twice a week. time is precious little and every minute i get to spend with him is God sent. so yeah.. forgive me for all the times i acted so childishly and not sparing thoughts of ur feelings. forgive me for being so selfish and not treating the way i ought to have treated you.

anyways, i explained to him why i was so "weird", "strange" and have a "different behaviour".. and he accepted it. and we are ok. and i met him for lunch!!!

he was outside waiting for me already.. so once it was 2pm, i was like zoooooooooom… bye! hahaha flew down the floors to meet him, skipped past yandao with a "bye! i’m meeting my boyfriend for lunch! bye! bye! bye!" hahaa.. yeahh i was that happy. that anticipating, that eagar, that dying to meet him. and he drove 2 junctions away to some festival market place to have kfc. cos i wanted the madagasca finger puppet. goodness.. i totally forgot about it. and he remembered. /me touched. but it was sold out! so we went to mac to ahve lunch instead.

and he bought me a happy meal.

i told him i wanted a happy meal cos being able to have lunch with him makes me happy.

then he told me that if that’s the case, he would have happy meal 3 times a day, every day of the year. cos thinking of me makes him happy. and he thinks of me all the time. *smiles*

pity lunch was only an hour. so we zoomed back to my office and he went to buy stationeries and booekd in. how i wish i could accompany him… *sigh* oh.. he told me that he read my entries and was laughing at the fact that i write about the how-i-wish-he-will-not-read-but-i-know-he-would-read-it-anyway stuff. haha.. =) and he told me he started his own blog too. *raise eyebrows*

i am so gonna be ur loyal reader. 

oh yeah.. did i mention i got a toy with the happy meal? haha it’s lumpy, the elephant from the pooh movie. super cute. of cos! it’s from him ma.. and this little 20 yr old girl brought back the happy meal box wee wee weee all the way home.

so i’m now waiting for the 20 PLUS guy to call. yeah.. =)

indeed it is… =)

the previous entry wasn’t very informative cos he was looking which i was typing.. super not used to it lor… hahaha anyways… *smiles*

i met him at about 11.30pm.. it was raining donkeys and monkeys.. and he was driving at 30km/h. muz rem to go buy 4D.. it’s very rare that he drives so slowly lor.. haha but then again, he can still go bang into pple’s backside.. -.-" claims that the brakes not working well… then again, the word that i use is CLAIMS arh.. hahaha… haha i know u will be reading this!! and i know u will try to defend urself!! and say that u are a safe driver!! yesh yesh… very safe yeah? =)

but it was ok arh.. juz a little, teeny weeny bit of a shock only. lucky there were no damages on the other guy’s car. as for the very safe driver’s, his front licence plate came off. like came off. but that’s about it. lucky him lor.. if not his father is so not gonna let him drive again. hahaha

i’ve got no idea wat time we reached his place.. but his dog was soooo cute! haha.. then we started cooking lunch.. and watched 50 first dates.. and used the com.. then both him and the dog fell asleep and i started to complain to zihui and shifa.. lalalala… and he happily slept thru all these.. ultimately, he still managed to read my conversations. -.-"

oh… i saw his brother too.. they kinda look different.. and his family portrait.. his sis kinda look diff too. his bro kinda shy.. din really talk to me… his dog is also very shy.. kept running to the wall.. i think it kinda runs in the family.. hahaa.. cos when i was using the com, i din hear his brother left the house.. so i tot he shut himself up in his room. it was much later when we were leaving to meet zihui that his brother came back and i was like ehhh?? hahhaa

so after i managed to wake him up cos i was too bored with chatting with zihui who was more engrossed in his game, i pestered him to bring gou gou out for a walk.. it was more of the dog pulling me ard that me bringing it for a walk arh… then he bought the glue for the licence plate and was trying to stick it on while i was entertaining the dog… somehow, his dog dun like to find him when we are out in the open lei… whenever i wanna go back to find him the dog would juz walk in the opposite direction. when come to times like this, juz scoope the dog up and walk. haha. i’m juz so brillant. lalala..

ok.. so after the super tiring following-the-dog walk, we went back up and watched this movie titled "paying it forward" very touching… makes u reflect on the stuff others have done for u and ur obligation to pay it forward and help others in need. it would have been nicer is SOMEONE wasn’t trying to tell me bits of the story halfway lor… yesh yesh… i know u are gonna try defend urself again. lalalalala.. =) hahaha.. and oh.. we had dinner.. we din cook any more stuff arh.. firstly cos we were too lazy.. secondly cos no time, thirdly cos too tired, fourthly cos no food and i din wanna go buy. so yeahh… we ate bread, with soup and jam and the tartlets and the desert we made. and it was delicious. his dog kept looking at the food lor.. so we shared the bread with it.. totally cute.. =)

after the 2nd movie, then we go meet zihui.. brought the tarts out cos greedy me wanted to eat them.. haha.. took the jelly for zihui and forced him to eat it.. he said it was not bad.. quite nice… but somehow, that din sound very sincere… OH WELL.. hahaha.. then they met pork face erm… adrian. and they played pool. and played and played and played. so i juz sit there. and sit and sit and sit and sit. and used the phone. hahaha.. in the midst of it… i realised that this was the exact scenerio where i first met joel… it was when he was playing with pork face  adrian that i frist saw him.. and i remembered how i know who he is. brings back sweet memories. ok. it wasn’t sweet. and guess wat!! after so long, pork face still takes his own sweet time to play pool. urghhh… SWEET MEMORIES YEAHH… lucky i din have to stand this time round.. lalala..

so after pool, sent zihui home then we went back to his place supposingly to catch a movie 1..  but kinda got nothing to watch… so we watched tv instead. or rather, i was watching tv.. he went back to slp and i felt.. ok.. so he dun wanna spend time with me. i know it’s not like this. i know he’s tired. i know that he’s spending all his available time with me. i dun understand why i will feel this way too.. and when he was there saying that he will not slp le.. i juz felt super bad.. i wan him to get ample rest. juz that.. i kinda felt left out.. cos the whole day he din really talk to me.. we were juz watching movies, him playing pool with his frens and sleeping. and i was like calafare. but it’s juz a feeling. we are ok. kinda spoke about it and yeah. we are ok. rite? =)

hahaha… this is another long overdued post. =) sry nick! nv have the time to go update.

lets see, work has been quite manageable so far.. guess slowly, slowly getting used to it.. my ah gong passed away last sun, went to his funeral on mon and kinda met up with pple i havent seen in ages. met ppl whom i dun wish to see either but that’s beside the point.

and so, i juz had lunch. wahhaha… yeah yeah, quite rare for me to eat lunch rite!! and it’s a home cooked lunch lor! by urs truely!! whahaha.. assisted by the one next to me. hahaha…. ok la.. the noodles were kinda rubbery… guess it wasnt cooked enough but it’s ok.. =) there’s still desert in the fridge.. lalala… and later we are meeting zihui. if u are reading this, which i know u would, *waves!!*

my past week was quite mundane arh…

wed

haha.. today after work, i met him.. he was kinda trying to surprise me, but it kinda fell thru cos i’m juz too smart!! lalalala…. ok.. it kinda feels weird cos he’s like reading this as i’m typing.. so…. errrrr……. yesh, pls stop reading. thank you very much. hhahahha.. =) but we din go far.. cos he has to go back to the isalnd by 11.30.. so we juz had a simple dinner at np then went home. ohh… indra saw him then she was giving me the smile. i was like… errr…. ok. *smile*

fri

today was a super bz day at work lor.. calls kept coming in… then the que call button kept flashing too.. even when i finish work at 8! haha was so thankful that i can get away from it all lor… muz be cos slack too much for the past few days le… =) then met him and we did shopping at carrefour! hahah bought food to cook lunch for tml.. and it was…. very wen xin. hahha…

oh.. i recieved a sms from kenneth today and he was there telling me that he wanted to msg me a few times telling me that he miss me but he stopped himself and that if he ever get a chance again, he would chase me. kinda urm…. he told me tt he has no gf now and hinted that it was cos of me. double urm…. told yan about it and he was saying "wahh… how come everybody breaking up cos of u?" well…… told him about it too and his permenently fixed smile disappear. then he asked me if it was him telling me those stuff, how would i feel. and that was when i realise that he has a very good point. i know that he dun wanna talk about it but at times, i feel that such things should be communicated betweeen us ba… i mean… to avoid any misunderstandings. but then again…. *shrugs*

and so, we had a very late dinner at lao pa sat.. havent been there since i last met shifa and frens there for dinner… hahhaa… speaking of him, its his and sherine’s birthday today!!! happy 20th birthday to the both of u! but dun think both of them reads my blog… we visited vch.. it was an amazing feeling. the beautiful building and us. i juz felt very very happy.. to be able to bring him to place that i knew so well. to a place that i love so much..

then we went home.. =)

so currently, i’m at his place, typing this entry on his wireless keyboard, which is kinda hard to use and his monitor is placed so high that my neck is kinda getting strained. but he dunno all these cos he’s fast asleep.. so is his dog!! so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. hahahha… tml’s another work day.. sianz 1/2. i can’t wait till 2 weeks later!! then can go picnic with bee!! lalala!!

*ps: jir, if u are reading this, he has a doggy and his doggy is so cute!!! hahaha

*after thought*

when i told him that kenneth broke up with his gf cos of me.. he told me "wo ye shi" and i felt…… awwwwwwwwww…. gulity. cos somehow, i dun think i deserve the attention from 2 fine guys. dun really deserve the fact that they broke up with their gfs cos of little, insignificant me.. but still.. i’m flattered. i did told him too that i used to treat guys like crap. this, glenn would gladly come and testify. rite? =) and it’s true.. nv has anyone meant so much as he means to me. i love you, darling. i really do.

saturday

woke up late at 11+. him too.. haha he said he woke up at 9 but din wanted to wake me up so he went back to slp.. met him at about 1.30 and we drove to harbourfront. ok. so he was the one driving. i was juz sitting next to him, trying to look good.  

we wanted to take a cable car in.. tt’s why we went to harbourfront. only to know that the cable cars are off operations today. blah… so we had lunch at delifrance and drove in instead. cos we think that they disabled the ferry services too. it was pretty cool.. they were selling tix to cars as they drove in. and i was wearing his dad’s sunglasses. cos i left mine with bee. we were given a map of sentosa as we went in and it felt like amazing race! he drives and i navigates. haha =)

so after parking the car, we wanted to take the monorail but found tt they discontinued the service. why is everything stoped?! tt pampered kid wanted to drive to the dolphins but i insisted we take the bus. well.. where’s the joy if u are driving everywhere? by the time we got there, we were like 15mins late for the show. we bought join tix for the dolphin lagoon and underwater world though and went underwater world instead. boy, it was super packed there lor! but it was great fun! we saw loads of fishes and marine life. and it was all very very cool. and we even go touched them! i touched the starfish.. had this velvet feeling to it… hee hee… then he go touch the stingray and shark and he said they felt soft.. i din dare touch them ma… was afraid that they would bite me! hahaha 

so after underwater world, we took a bus back to the dolphins.. and yeah.. i was kinda feeling the hassle of not having the monorail. urghh.. cant wait for 2006 when the dunno wat express will be ready. caught a bit of the dolphin show.. it was nice and everything but somehow, i cant help but think it’s curel.. dolphines are friendly and smart yesh.. but its not natural for them to do stuns for human pleasure. so……..

after the dolphins, we walked to palanwan beach. it was really nice. everythnig is. the not-very-glaring sun, the breeze, the soft sand, him.. it kinda depics what life’s simple pleasure is all about. and juz being with him makes me feel happy. happy happy. truely happy. if only everyday could be like this…

we wanted to catch the musical fountains.. but i guess it started so they din let us in.. weird.. dunno when did they implement so many red tapes. so we walked ard the fountains instead.. so beautiful.. =)

and then we went to parkway for dinner. wanted to eat pizza hut but it got tore down. and the guy who lives in the east din know about it. so we had fish and co instead. and he ordered stingray. and i was like….. uhh.. u juz saw singrays.. and u are eating one now?! haha.. after dinner, we went to east coast and dwelled the night away sitting on the bench, listening to the waves, sea breeze in our hair..

and then we went home.

that’s how i feel. I’M SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lost my voice completely. and mother is also kinda pissing me off with the should she go, should she not go. and his ex called him and he raised his voice at her. and i feel that queezy upset cos she still calls him. and i cant tell anybody about it cos i lost my voice. and i dun wish to talk to him so that i can be alone. and he kept miss call-ing me. then he sounded pissed off. which made me feel that i am the cause. then he had to let me know that he’s upset. and i feel even more urghhh. cos i want to know why on the phucking world is he upset. but i cant ask cos i lost my voice. and i feel so damn blardy irritated. and he dun seem to want to tell me why he is upset. and i feel stressed cos alot of thnigs are happening. but i cant let him know that. cos he will get upset and worry. which will make me upset and worry too. and this vicious cycle will not help anything. and i dunno… i really dunno…….

there’s a lot of things i need to get off my chest.. i juz feel so stressed out by alot of things.. him, work, family, people, life…

if only the whole world can hold still.

if only……………….

i dreamt of him last night. haha. it wasn’t as sweet as the one he had of me. but still, it was a nice dream. in it, i was there, he was there, my friends were there. his friends were there (though he said that i do not know how his friends look like so it’s difficult for me to know that his friends were there).

the setting looked kinda casual. and there was this huge signboard with both our names on it. and below our names, it said "happy 2nd anniversary!"

and then i realised that our friends were celebrating our 2nd year of marriage.

woah.

yeah. so that was my dream.

i told him about it.

and he said..

"dreams can come true… =) i love you my dear… and the dream shows that i ahve cooked breakfast for you for two years!"

and i feel…

=)